Robson’s Route to Changing His Story – Part 6

Strange visualizations

The Brown TED talk is not mentioned in Wade’s lawsuit as a trigger to make allegations against Jackson (it is mentioned on his blog and he mentions it in his 2016 deposition too), but both in his court papers and on his blog he claims that the trigger was watching his one and a half years old son and imagining and visualizing the things happening to him that Wade alleges happened to him when he was 7-14 years old.

“I would look at my son and imagine him experiencing the sexual acts I did with [Jackson] – which I did not yet equate with being sexually abused – and, for the first time in my life, I wondered if I needed to talk to someone about what [Jackson] and I “did together”. I knew that I truly had no idea how I felt about it. I still thought that once I spoke to someone about it, I would be fine” [1; paragraph 25], he wrote in his 2013 declaration.

According to his own statements on his blog, Wade needed to visualize his son being sexually abused to be able to muster up any emotion that he could build on in his own story of alleged childhood sexual abuse.

“[O]ften in therapy I would hit a wall when trying to connect to my younger self. But similar as to what inspired me to disclose in the first place: having visual flashes of my son being sexually abused and feeling so viscerally in response to them, in therapy, my Son became a profound access point to little Wade. Upon difficulty connecting with my younger self, I would often envision my son in the traumatic scenario from my past that I was trying to process. I could then feel it deeply, tap into what little Wade was feeling, and what he really needed, to heal.” [2]

(Emphasis added.)

Visualizing things that he wanted to turn into reality was no stranger to Wade. In a 2002 interview he said:

“Learn how to visualize. If (you) have a goal you’ve got to visualize every little aspect of it. You know, if I want to do a song for somebody, and I really want it happen, I’ll put myself in the situation. I’ll visualize what the studio looks like when we’re recording, I’ll picture myself walking to go get coffee, simple little things. But it just places you in the situation and makes it reality before it happens and then there’s not even a question that it’s going to happen. Every time I’ve done that, wholeheartedly, it’s always happened. It’s never failed.” [3]

The previous chapter: Wade goes into therapy

The next chapter: Evolving “memories”


[1] Declaration of Wade Robson (April 30, 2013)

[2] Wade Robson’s blog “Wade’s Window” – Break to Heal, Part II (November 24, 2017)

[3] 2002 – Cool Job: *NSYNC’s and Britney’s Choreographers secondary source:

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